Tuesday, April 27, 2010

New Blog Location

This blog has been moved to a new location since the birth of our son Beckley.  Check it out here:


Sunday, April 18, 2010

I knew i felt BIG ! It's go time!

I went into the dr today and they said, hmmm when was your due date again? I said May 8th, they said no. How about today? I'M SORRY WHAT?! Apparently, my due date as been off and due to decreased fluid (I won't get into it) they decided to induce this weekend. After 24 hours of little sleep, I have been told I sept thru contractions. (Because I am pooped already from doing the show at 3am.) I have also been told I am too comfortable so they have manually broken my water (again I won't get into it). I have learned several things during my first hospital stay.
1. Food on call 24-7 is pretty sweet.
2. Getting a prenatal massage before I was admitted was the best idea I ever had. EVER.
3. Always bring chocolates from the nurses, they have given us special attention and even called us "the fun people in the room on the end."
4. There are no stupid questions.

More updates later if I can still type

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Feel Big and nothing is ready.

I have had this extra big feeling lately, which I think means the baby is coming sooner rather than later. We are not ready for anything. Seriously, here is my crib....I am pretty sure this is not how it's supposed to look.

The Ultrasound Tech is not "Miss Personality"

When I switched Dr's in Seattle I needed a new ultrasound so they could compare it to my old ones. I went into the appt. the tech did her thing and Potter got to see the ultrasound process for the first time. [He missed the other 2 due to work and being sick.] The day before, I was trying to talk him out of coming. You'll be bored, there's so much to do, do something else, go to a movie, I swear you are not missing anything...He insisted - so he came. The tech dryly says, lay down, this will be cold and squeezes the goo on the bump. I say, "You don't have a goo warmer?"She looks at me straight in the face and says, "it's not necessary." OK, Miss Personality. I also asked her if the office did 3D ultrasounds as a form of chit-chat because I had already had one. She said "no, we don't do 3D ultrasounds as a form of entertainment." WOW. How can you be so cranky when you are dealing with mostly excited new parents on a daily basis? I know we ask a ton of stupid questions but at least we're fun! By the way, Potter didn't hear Miss Personality - he fell fast asleep after 10 min.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Child Birth Prep Class

Potter and I attended an 8 hr childbirth prep class recently. The first thing he said when he walked in? Oh My God. Look at those 50 inch plasma TV's! He wasn't so excited after those 50 inch TV's were showing a woman's South of the Border with a baby's head popping out of it. But whatever.  Here's some advice, when you go to these classes never go first when they do "introductions". Potter made that mistake. When the instructor asked him "What do you hope to get out of today's class?" He said, "I want to know about the labor process." All of the other guys said, " I want to know what I can do for her to make her feel more comfortable." For the record, I thought Potter's answer was a good one.
Brownie Points Scoreboard - Potter = 0 Other Guys = 20 [each]

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Today, The New York Times asserts that a resurgence of bright, bold clothing is a tell-tale sign that the economy is recovering. What BLACK is OUT? What about maternity wear? Let's see what we can find...
 BOLD yes but wearable? Meh.

 BOLD but a tad moo-moo'ish

 BOLD, SEXY and HOT. Sorry NY Times, black is not out for mom's to be.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Switching OBGYN's

 We just moved to Seattle and are happy to be home in the rain. Because of the move, I had to switch dr's at 33 weeks. I have been told that isn't great time to switch OBGYN's but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
 Comparatively, the care is the same but the customer service was far better in Charlotte than what I am receiving in Seattle. [So, if you are reading this in Charlotte, I recommend Charlotte OBGYN.] But my Seattle OB office is something else. If my appointment is at 1:30pm, I will not be in to see the dr until 2:15pm without fail, they are at least 30 min late.
 I needed an ultrasound done last week (just to update my records) and they had me call another Ultrasound Center to do it. I had to call 3 times to make the appointment because the receptionist didn't send my name over to scheduling at the other place.  Really? Because I have 2hrs to be tracking down why your receptionist didn't send an email?
 I don't mind waiting 10-15 minutes but I do mind being the only one in the waiting room and it still taking 30 minutes to get me into see the dr. for a 5 min check up.
 Like I said, the care is fine but after the baby is born, I will be switching OBGYN's just because these people can't read a clock.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I have Pregnancy Turrets

I realized that whilst pregnant, the average woman has something I call “pregnancy turrets”.  This is an undocumented affliction [that I just made up] where we randomly say things out loud concerning our ever changing bodies. Just yesterday I was getting out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and said, “Are my areola's two different sizes? What up with that?” 

I also got out of the car today and turned to Potter and said, “You need to get me out of these jeans and I’ll be happy!” I didn’t realize there were guys working on the deck next door. I’m sure they thought, “Slow down sister, that’s what got you into that mess in the first place.”

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Parking in the pregnant lady - really?

Pregnant ladies should have little signs for our cars that simply say - "Please park correctly, I need the space to maneuver."  I was at my new OB's office and sure enough some jackhole parked so close to my door I couldn't get back in my car. Now, I know it could have been my perception (as in the guy was parked correctly, I'm just bigger but I'm not going with that). I am sure it was entertaining watching me crawl over the passengers side of the car into the drivers seat. The best part....he walked up to his car and got in as I was doing this. I'll be honest, I hope he feels guilty. 

Sunday, March 7, 2010

What will you have?

A Facebook friend recently sent me this chart to determine what the sex of the baby will be. Completely scientific, I'm sure. Matter of fact, I think this is the basis of sonogram technology. If you know someone who is about to have a baby, have them check the chart to see if it's right. 


I'm sorry, we don't do business with pregnant women.

I have been a victim of discrimination, or so I have been told. Recently, I made a dentist appointment for a cleaning at a new place. (My teeth are fine, I just needed someone to kick me in the but about my lack of flossing.) I showed up at the appointment and started to fill out my paperwork, I went to the receptionist desk and said - "I am 28 weeks along so do you have an x-ray shield big enough that will cover my stomach?" The cute blonde receptionist looked at me horrified and said, "Oh no, we don't see expectant mothers at all, we'll have to reschedule your appointment until after the baby is born. It's unsafe." This was news to me, so as I walked to my car, I called my OBGYN and asked if it was unsafe and if I was already a bad mom for wanting clean teeth. Their response was was hysterical. "What dentist office was this? I am calling them right now, that's ridiculous! How dare they!? We strongly recommend dental care during pregnancy, you can get x-rays, cavities filled...you need a new dentist! "

Little girls are snotty early on aren't they?

I went to visit one of my only girlfriends that has kids. When I walked in she says, "The 18 month old is going through a clingy phase right now so she's...special." When the dictator adorable little girl woke up from her nap, she wouldn't let mom out of her sight. And if mom walked around the corner, the screaming and tears would start insantly. MAMA,MAMA,MAMA! She also had to be held by mom or dad at all times. I thought I might be able to break the spell by bribing her with chunks of fresh banana bread. As I would give her some, she'd eat it and turn dramatically away as if to say, "Ew, you're gross, I can't even look at you."  She would also give me these evil eyebrows from across the room. It was very clear she'd didn't like strangers in her house so close to her mama. Of course the parents were used to this regime and just laughed it off. But I'm convinced that she knows exactly what she's doing. If you believe in reincarnation - picture the hot chick in your high school with the snotty attitude. Now picture her in pigtails and a Dora t-shirt on.

Applebee's ordered a girl.

I was at Applebees recently and as my waitress took my order, the person sitting across from me said, 'Aren't you going to eat more than that? You're eating for two!" The waitress stops everything and says, "My son is 7 months old and I hate going to work everyday! The first few months are horrible but after that, you'll love it." She then asks what I'm having. I say, I don't know, what do you think? She  then ordered me to stand at baby attention in the middle of the resturant so  she could pull my dress tight and fully examine the bump. As my table is cracking up at my misfortune, she starts calling over other employees to get their baby opinion. Survey says, 3 out of 5 Applebee's staffers think I'm having a girl. PS - saying "wow, you're pretty round" does not increase your tip.

Is that a manatee?

I recently went to Florida on vacation. It was kinda sunny but not beach weather at all. One kinda warmish day we ventured outside to experience the hotel pool. Ecpecting it to be freezing, we took the jump right in approach. Little did we know the outdoor pool was heated. Apparently, they don't feel the need to post that type of information, so inorder to have the pool to ourselves, we acted like it was cold everytime some other poor soul would step outside into the wind and rain. Are we bad people? Maybe. But we had a massive heated pool to ourselves. 

During our swim I realized two things....
1. Maternity swimsuit shopping is cruel and unusual punishment.
2. I felt graceful eventhough I'm pretty sure I looked like a manatee. 

Friday, February 5, 2010

Maternity Swimsuit Shopping - Ugh

 Potter and I are taking a trip soon that requires swimwear. This is another chapter in a woman's life that is simply not fair. Maternity Swimsuit Shopping. I don't care how confident you are, it's not fun. Sure, there will be those mamma goddesses out there that view this post as superficial. Duh. Of course it is! It's bad enough when we go regular swimsuit shopping, now we have a round gut to deal with.
 The odd part is that there's a fine line between looking like a big girl in a tiny bikini or a pregnant chick. This is the one time you actually want to look pregnant in a swimsuit. You will turn to a very good friend and say, "I look pregnant in this right? Are you sure I look pregnant?"
 I do recommend maternity consignment stores, even for swimwear. There are a few in Charlotte like WOMB that are super cute.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Cat, Cow, Kegel

 I have been taking pre-natal yoga classes and highly enjoy them. At first, I was all cocky thinking this is going to be so frickin' easy, we can't do any of the hard moves! Ummm yeah, not so much. What I did not count on is the fact that you get bigger but the moves stay the same. Before you dismiss it as an easy workout, prenatal yoga is what happens if regular yoga hooked up with weight lifting after a drunk night at Whiskey River and had a baby. I know the class is going to be challenging when I hear the instructor say, "Now make room for the belly on this one."
 It's no secret, men think women who do yoga are hot. They have this visual of us wearing a tong bikini and doing downward dog in front of a tropical waterfall. And yes, that is exactly what it's like - unless it's a bunch of mom's to be then it's less graceful. We get hot faster, our balance changes daily and we suck down more water than a sea sponge. But even-though we aren't a "yoga fantasy" come true, we are hard core.  Do you think that sounds ridiculous? Talk to the blonde who was next to me today. She's a week and half past her due date and still doing full backbends in an hour long class. 

Friday, January 29, 2010

The dog likes the baby bump

My dog (Brooklyn-on left) enjoys my new baby bump. At night she has started to snuggle up against the bump, when I'm on the computer, she finds a way to cuddle on my disappearing lap. Why this sudden interest? Don't assume it's LOVE, I'm pretty sure she's just figured out the tummy is warm. 
 I did some research and discovered that it's very common for dogs to be jealous of a new baby. The experts say things like; Don't let the dog in the nursery! Play baby crying noises! Did any of these "experts" ever ask the dog? Here are 3 tips to stop the evil green monster that Brooklyn wants me to pass along.

Tip 1 - I am the only one allowed to sleep in your armpit in the big bed. That's unsafe for the baby. 

Tip 2 - If an apple chunk falls on the kitchen floor, don't feed it to the baby. I'll take it so we can avoid the choking hazard. 

Tip 3 - The newborn must be taught to throw a squeaky ball before any other life skill. Throwing squeaky balls is more important than talking, reading, walking... 

Monday, January 18, 2010

You think you're soooo funny...

I was just telling someone yesterday that I haven't felt the baby kick yet. She seemed very concerned and said, "I feel mine kick all the time! My husband loves to put his had on my tummy to feel him." I said, "Nope, no kicking here maybe they are just lazy." Now, I have seen baby x's feet move so I know it's possible, I just haven't felt anything. 
 As I slept last night at 1:30am the kid nailed me. It felt like a little foot trying to karate chop a balloon. I woke up out of a dead sleep. As I tried to fall back a sleep, I discovered the little one likes Law & Order SVU and kicked a few more times - hard enough to make my hand move. So the kid has bad timing but good taste in TV drama.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

You Look All Pregnant and Shit

I now believe pregnant women receive the most backhanded compliments than another human. It's not the other persons fault, sometimes they don't even know they are being RUDE. Recently, a women who knows Potter (baby daddy) said, "Ohhh, don't you hope it looks like him?" Ummm hello? Are you saying my gene pool is defective?
 The compliments are just different when you're about to be a mom. For example, any expectant mom will tell you clothing shopping is a whole new self esteem experience. Yeah - yeah, you're growing a human being, hitting the gym and watching what you eat for the sake of your little one BUT you want to look as good as possible. You want to show off your legs and your newest accessories that suddenly make men more polite. (READ: GIGANTIC TA-TA'S) Is it vain? Hell yes. But it's true, you want someone to say, "You look fantastic!" Even if it is a dirty guy at the gas station and he's talking to your Grand Canyon of cleavage. 
 I was at one of my favorite stores (Ross) and I took a few dresses into the fitting room. When I came out to do the twirl in front of the "big mirror" the attendant was checking me out. I thought I looked OK but this is what happened next. 

HER: Nuh uh babygirl, don't get that...
ME: No?
HER: No, that makes you look all pregnant and shit.
ME: Well hell, we wouldn't want that.
HER: No offense...I'm just sayin'.
ME: Actually, I am 5 months pregnant.
HER: Oh! OK then, work it mama!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Baby Sign Language Class

I have always been interested in early childhood communication so today I took a baby sign language class. I took Potter too and that might have been a mistake. I learned a few basic baby words and the following...
1. Never learn sign language from a book, watch someone doing it in a video. 
2. Starting at birth, pick about 5 signs (for a pre-verbal kid) and do every-time you say the word. Like - Eat, Drink, Dog, Finished, More, Help and Potty.
3. Always sign with the hand you write with (when doing single signs). 
For some reason Potter is now signing to the dog, I think he missed the point of the class. 
The book/DVD - Baby Sign Language

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Still Scanning Pics

Why did I think this was a good idea? In Nov. we decided to go 100% digital, that means scanning every picture we have ever owned. This is fantastic in theory but it's quite the project to make happen before the baby arrives. We are realistic, we have hundreds of pictures of Brooklyn (dog) we can only imagine how our inner Annie Lebowitz will come out once the baby is here. I have been tear apart old scrapbooks and thought I'd share some of the gems.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Nope, Not May

 I have been told not to show this pic to anyone over 55 - it creeps them out. My due date has been pushed up to late April and I have not purchased 1 baby thing. I don't think I will until March. BTW - That's almost 2 weeks earlier than originally estimated. From now on I think they should just give out "Due Weeks" so we first timers are better prepared. I did get the anatomy scan done, Potter was sick so he missed it. Going to the OBGYN in 2010 is like a health class every visit. A little scanner can show so much! During the live DVD portion of my visit, I saw the babies heart pumping blood, the bladder and lungs working - it was amazing. 
 I told the tech, we don't want to know the sex. She said, "I can edit out the stills but not the DVD and trust me, everyone will see a penis on anything anyway." She explained even if it's on the forehead some knucklehead will say, "That's his thing right there!" So basically, if I really want to know, I can watch the DVD. I brought it home and Potter immediately took it and put it in a envelope and made me sign the back so I can't break the seal without his knowledge. Little does he know I already replaced the DVD with Paul Blart - Mall Cop so if I really feel like watching it, there's nothing he can do. I am sure seeing a penis on my child's forehead is better than Paul Blart.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Sad Radio Day

Today, we were released from our on air duties at 1079 The LINK in Charlotte. With the current climate at The LINK, this has been something we have been planning for, so it's not a huge shock to us. The funny thing is, I called my mom to tell her what happened, and she said - "oh did you get escorted out of the building by some huge security guard?!" She was disappointed when I told her, "No, there was no manhandling of the pregnant chick." This is the way our business works so we have no hard feelings towards the LINK. I'll admit, it's odd not being on the air everyday but we have plenty to do right now BB (Before Baby). 

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Christmas in Cincy

4 1/2 months - Christmas in Cincinnati has been great so far. Potter's mom is sick so she won't go near me but it's OK. I decided to take my diet into my own hands on the drive out and pack salads to eat. Even on the road, I cannot bring myself to eat a chicken sandwich. Ehck. It was hilarious watching Potter order a huge cheeseburger and I was sitting there chowing down on my little salad. I am sure some people were thinking, "Oh she's one of those girls." Speaking of food, I am waiting for the cravings to hit but nothing so far. I do kind of miss sushi. 
 We just opened gifts and stockings - it was a marathon! Somehow people got my memo, no baby gifts please. It's not that I'm not grateful but I have no storage and don't know what I need or want for the kid yet. I did get a few baby books from a friend and I love books so that's OK. My gift from Potter was amazing. Not to gush but he's pretty kick ass. Shopping and New Year's Eve in Chicago! See pics of our getaway here here - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=136878&id=676862209