Oh and since someone in my office has swine flu, the Dr. put me on Tamiflu right away. What? Am I not suffering from enough uncomfortableness over here? Tamiflu basically makes you have the flu so you don’t get the flu. The stuff is horrible and I have to be on it for 2 weeks. So nausea, vomiting, chills the whole deal and here’s the worst part - I paid for it. So for the first part of my pregnancy, I paid to have the fake flu for 2 weeks while still working. I am going to kick patient 0 in the junk when I see him. I also put a baby conversation embargo on the husband, so he can only discuss it after work.
I thought up of fun ways to tell Potter he was about to be a dad. He favorite thing ever is cookies. Not Macaroons or Ginger Snaps, I am told those are the cookies of the devil but soft chocolate chip cookies. So after absorbing the news of pending parenthood, I went to the store to pick up an obscenely large cookie and pink and blue frosting. I decorated it with two question marks and put it on the counter. He was at the gym and when he came home he said what’s this? I said oh, it’s a present. He looked at it and said ohhh cookie....wait, why is there frosting on it? I told him to pick a side - pink or blue? He suspiciously asked, why? I said, I don’t think it will determine the sex of the baby but it might. He was shocked and cried, “Really?!” After I got the first congratulatory kiss, he shouted, “My boys can swim!” Seriously?
Today I found out someone in our office has swine flu and oh yeah, Potter and I are expecting our first baby. This was shocking news and somewhat hard to understand. Not the whole birds and the bees part, I got that, I am talking about the actual doctor telling me. When you go to the doctor, they put you in the lobby to wait, from the lobby you go to the lab to wait, from the lab you go to a tiny room to wait. While all of this waiting is going on, I was thinking, what’s taking so long? Do people still get scurvy? I must have scurvy and they are trying to figure out a way to break it to me gently.
30 minutes later a nice Asian nurse came in and said, “Here is packet for confirm pregnancy, Dr. will be in minute” and slammed the door. Time stood still. She came back in and said, “Have questions?” I looked at her and said, “Umm no, I’m good. Oh wait, I do have one quickie, what’d ya’ have for lunch, just curious.... The nurse started to say salad when I cut her off. “Yes, I have questions, like what the hell are you talking about? Confirmed what? Are you saying one of the tests you did is confirmed, so I am pregnant?” No, she babbles in broken english. I no say confirmed. Yes, I said, you just said “confirmed”. No she starts again, “I no say confirmed, Dr. do exam. Have great day!” And the door shuts with a thud. The Dr. comes in 15 minutes later fresh from his golf game. He has a big smile on his face and out the door he yells, “Nurse Yin, is her pregnancy 100% accurate? And the nice Asian nurse yells angrily back, “I told confirmed!” Turns out I was 6 1/2 weeks along with a due date of May 8th.
